This is the 1st diary entry for me, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and scared out my wits.
Its not been an easy task getting here, I've had 4 miscarriages, by the age of 24, and this is my 5th pregnancy. I suppose I ought to explain how I got here. My first two pregnancies, where not planned, they were the result of abuse by an ex partner. He wasn't an easy one to be with, 3 years of my life, wasted, after I found I was pregnant the second time, he pushed my down the stairs in the fit of an arguement. He told me it wasn't his, accused me of cheating, and then after I tried to leave, he pushed me down the stairs,and when I lost it, he wasn't at all bothered.
I left him and got with an amazing guy over a year and a half of being single, and not being able to trust anyone ever again! But Will has been a godsend. After all the abuse I had with the ex, with Will its been amazing. Anyway, last year we fell pregnant in January, and we where so happy, we wanted this, because of my diabetes and such, its made really difficult. But we where looking forward to having tiny us running round. Not that his family made it easy, but it wasn't to be. We lost the baby in February 2010, devastating me and Will. Then in April after all the heartbreak, we found out we were pregnant again. Excited and nervous, it only turned to heartbreak in May. 7 weeks pregnant with both of them, and gone. So I saw a miscarriage specialist, whom tried to help us, but 8 months later still no joy. His Sister and Sister-in-law fell pregnant, and my cousin also fell pregnant. I felt lost, his family wanted him to wait, but we knew the time bomb that was my body giving up, after tests for cancer, PCOS and numerous other things. Which turns out I have borderline PCOS and type 2 diabetes, which I failed to say I have been since I was 17. And other problems, they said it would most likely be months maybe years before I concieved. We were devastated. I cried for days. But a month later, I fell pregnant. Scared, yes, excited, maybe, and worried about losing it again, definatly. Things seem to be going well. I've had three scans so far, and had a bleed around 8 weeks. Turns out it was a haemorrhage above the baby, not really major, and it stopped after a week, when we went for our 3rd scan, baby is fine, heartbeat is strong and everything seems to be going well.
I decided to write a pregnancy diary to keep an eye on how I feel. Plus to let people understand more about diabetes and pregnancy. How difficult times can get! I know it scares me. But I'm doing this for my baby.
Its not been an easy task getting here, I've had 4 miscarriages, by the age of 24, and this is my 5th pregnancy. I suppose I ought to explain how I got here. My first two pregnancies, where not planned, they were the result of abuse by an ex partner. He wasn't an easy one to be with, 3 years of my life, wasted, after I found I was pregnant the second time, he pushed my down the stairs in the fit of an arguement. He told me it wasn't his, accused me of cheating, and then after I tried to leave, he pushed me down the stairs,and when I lost it, he wasn't at all bothered.
I left him and got with an amazing guy over a year and a half of being single, and not being able to trust anyone ever again! But Will has been a godsend. After all the abuse I had with the ex, with Will its been amazing. Anyway, last year we fell pregnant in January, and we where so happy, we wanted this, because of my diabetes and such, its made really difficult. But we where looking forward to having tiny us running round. Not that his family made it easy, but it wasn't to be. We lost the baby in February 2010, devastating me and Will. Then in April after all the heartbreak, we found out we were pregnant again. Excited and nervous, it only turned to heartbreak in May. 7 weeks pregnant with both of them, and gone. So I saw a miscarriage specialist, whom tried to help us, but 8 months later still no joy. His Sister and Sister-in-law fell pregnant, and my cousin also fell pregnant. I felt lost, his family wanted him to wait, but we knew the time bomb that was my body giving up, after tests for cancer, PCOS and numerous other things. Which turns out I have borderline PCOS and type 2 diabetes, which I failed to say I have been since I was 17. And other problems, they said it would most likely be months maybe years before I concieved. We were devastated. I cried for days. But a month later, I fell pregnant. Scared, yes, excited, maybe, and worried about losing it again, definatly. Things seem to be going well. I've had three scans so far, and had a bleed around 8 weeks. Turns out it was a haemorrhage above the baby, not really major, and it stopped after a week, when we went for our 3rd scan, baby is fine, heartbeat is strong and everything seems to be going well.
I decided to write a pregnancy diary to keep an eye on how I feel. Plus to let people understand more about diabetes and pregnancy. How difficult times can get! I know it scares me. But I'm doing this for my baby.
